


All I Can Think

by Darkone007



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 09:52:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8051770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkone007/pseuds/Darkone007
Summary: Xena's thoughts at various times during seasons 3-5





	All I Can Think

Disclaimers: all the usual  
Warnings: Sex? A lil bit  
love? angst? fear? tons  
hope everyone enjoys!  
these are Xena's thoughts at various times between seasons  
3-5

 

ALL I CAN THINK...  
BY DARKONE

It's early morning, at least 2 candlemarks before dawn. The leather is the easiest part.   
Next are the bracers, arm and shinguards. Finally the boots and breastplate. I strap my weapons in place...I then feel it. Eyes watching me. 

I turn to see smiling green eyes...framed with long honey colored hair.   
A bright jade, that is both inviting, and filled with lightning rivalling Zeus' thunderbolts.   
Soft lips spread into a smile that speaks of gentleness and passion. She pats the bed beside her.

And all I can think... is how much i love her. 

She nods and i walk over unable to resist, i sit on the edge of the bed.   
She kisses my shoulder and gently tugs me back on the bed, sword and all.  
She slides a perfectly sculpted leg over me, and sits on my leather clad abdomen...she smiles down at me,   
gloriously naked, and then...she slides her small strong hands over me.  
By the gods, she is so beautiful!

And all i can think... is how does she do this? 

In my years as a warlord, i never let anyone control me.   
After Caesar, no one had my heart, no one could take it to hurt me ever again, but she has.   
In her gentle hands, my heart is not a weapon to be used, a pawn to be sacrificed, no, it's a precious jewel.  
One she holds close and protects with the ferocity of a titan.  
Her hand slides along my thigh and up between my legs.  
She's gentle, sweet, caring, yet intent on doing the thing i swore I'd never allow.   
Loving me.  
She caresses me softly through my panties, stroking gently, her smile grows. She leans down and kisses me...  
so soft and sweet, yet her lips sear to my soul. I want to escape, to run, yet her gentle strength holds me there in her sweet embrace.   
What have i ever done to deserve such love, such devotion...such faith?   
I'm a monster, a destroyer, a blood soaked killer, and yet, she gives me her gift...and that gift is her.  
I shake violently, my fear is palpable, yet she caresses my face and whispers in my ear..  
"I'm here....you're safe...nothing can hurt you here with me."

And all i can think... is how brave she is.

She slowly slides her fingers in and removes my panties, smiling at how wet they are. She looks at me and leans down.   
Kissing me again, her soft, sweet tongue slides into my mouth.   
If i had only her kisses to feed me? I would be satisfied, no food or wine could ever be so fulfilling.   
She slides that same leg that pins me to this bed, between my legs, gently pressing in.   
Never rushing, never hard...slow and gentle as she whispers again...  
"I love you, my cherished warrior." 

And those words seal my fate. I slowly move under her, she guides my hands...calloused and knotted with muscle over her perfect breasts.   
She guides me in massaging them, kneading them as she grinds her knee against me. She then slides my hands downward, and guides  
my sword hand between her legs.  
She's perfect...warm, wet, sweet, she slides 2 of my fingers inside her and rocks her hips...working us both to that rhythm   
that makes oceans seem less primal.   
The sun slowly peaks the mountains in the distance as we climax together, as one...as it should be.   
She lies ontop of me, my brass breastplate pressed into her soft breasts...she kisses my neck and snuggles in abit.

And all i can think...is she has conquered me....again.  
____________________  
We're on the road, once again, searching for my redemption. I know what she sees, this great hero who can do no wrong.   
But I can...and I have.   
She has seen me at my best, and my gods be damned worst. Yet she stays...she...stays. My heart pounds so painfully with the thought  
that all it will take? Is that one day I do something, something so unforgivable? She leaves. She will one day see how wrong she has   
been about me and will leave. And rightfully so.

And all i can think...is that is what i truly deserve.  
_________________  
The fight is over...the warlord was a bit better organized than i had anticipated. My sword slipped and my off weapon arm was slashed.   
Not a fatal wound, but irritating.   
I used my armguard to cover it. When she discovers it, she's angry...yes at the warlord who did it, but also at me for hiding it.   
She tends it, and at night, after removing my weapons, armour and leathers, she looks my naked body over. I then feel it,   
her fingers tracing over old wounds...old scars.

"How did you get this one?[she traces the one on my left shoulder]" I tell her...she winces. Then, gently kisses it.  
It then becomes a history lesson...she caresses each one, and as she learns the story of each, she kisses it. I can feel it,   
she's already filled 3 scrolls on my wounds alone...in epic verse.

As she finishes i suddenly feel, small, insecure. I look at the ones i can see, and wonder about the ones i can't. I suddenly feel....  
ugly...scarred. Then I look up and see those green eyes looking at me with such love, such wonder?

And all i can think...is how can she find me beautiful?

She lays down by the fireside...and gently pats the bedroll. Again that sweet smile; a promise of love, passion to come.  
As i lay down beside her, she pulls me ontop of her, a soft gasp of pure pleasure on her lips. She kisses me softly, her hands   
all over my back.

"I've been watching you" she whispers between kisses.  
"I've seen you struggling, both awake, and asleep." She pulls me closer, holds me tighter. Offering not just her body, not just her love,   
but her very heart and soul.  
"You need to know? All these thoughts? Where you feel guilt, unworthy, anger, shame? All in yourself? None of it will ever happen.   
As long as i have you...your love, your heart and soul? I could never leave. Please? Never doubt that?"

I gently kiss her...passion building, trying to be slow and sweet, but she whispers...  
"Let go...love me , my cherished warrior."

And all i can think...is I can never be without her.  
______________________

I watch, in horror, as she wrests Hope away from me, falling into the flaming pit that marks Dahak's entrance into this world.   
I see the sadness in those bright green eyes as she falls, screaming my name...in absolute terror.  
I stare into the pit...nothing could have survived. I watched as my one true love dragged her evil spawn child to a fate IT deserved.   
My heart is shattered, my soul in shreds, I scream as Ares smiles, then vanishes. I cannot think, i cannot focus.

And all i can think...is i have to see her, just once more.

__________________

I stand in the barn, over the demon child and her evil spawn.I look over my shoulder, my love stands there, gasping, and then, she is in my arms.   
I kiss her, and hold her so tightly, with so much passion. She is the first to realize we need air, gently pushing me back. I look down, afraid i have   
gone too far, too fast. She smiles as she holds me, walking away from the gory scene.

She talks about needing answers, telling me she cannot guide me if she is lost.

And all i can think...is she is my way.

Najara has reared her light loving head once more. And once again? My love's gentle heart listens to her, believing that she has given up the blade.   
She begs, pleads with me to give her another chance. All I can see? Is she wants my beloved, once more. Not until she puts the blade to her throat,   
screaming her precious djinn are once more guiding her.  
Then, my love sees her for what she is.  
Najara and I fight, once more, this time? I am not worried, she sees what Najara really is. A madwoman. I end the fight, the only way I could,   
I disable her. We take her to a prison with healers and leave her in their care.

And all I can think...Is I exposed my love to that madwoman. 

________________________

We're waiting for the guards, they will take us to the crosses soon. My anger and hate of Caesar has done this, i watched as my sweet beloved   
threw her path away to take up the sword to defend me. I screamed, i begged, i wanted her to run and escape, but she stayed to defend me...  
her cherished warrior.

And all i can think...is i have destroyed her.

I look into those jade eyes as they place us on the crosses, my spine shattered, i dont even feel the spikes being driven in. And while she feels   
every stroke of the hammer, the spikes tearing through her perfect skin? She refuses to scream, i can see it, she is doing this out of her love for me.   
It tears my soul to shreds as i hear each stroke of the hammer. 

With no way to save her, to end the suffering....i do the only thing i can...i scream, for her.  
I give Caesar the satisfaction of breaking my will , all so i can scream for the agony she so bravely holds in.  
I tell her as my life fades from my shattered body how much I love her. How much i always have, and that i will wait for her on the other side.

And all i can think....is i lead her to this fate.  
_________________________  
We're sitting in the dining hall of mother's tavern. She's ordered breakfast for us both while i check on Argo. I come back and sit beside her,   
my back to the wall, all to keep us safe. She moves closer, her knee against my thigh, she smiles that sweet smile as the barmaid brings our food.   
I look at her, the changes the past 2 years have brought. The long golden hair is cut short, and has more red streaking it. She has an even more   
beautiful set of gear to wear. 

The sais in her boots make me look at her beautiful legs.

Scrambled eggs, sweet bread, honey glazed bacon[my mother's recipe], and cider. It's a lot of food. I smile as she takes both plates, and grabs a spoon.   
She offers me a bite of eggs and i take it.   
Halfway through the first plate, she offers me some of the bacon...with her fingers. I take the thick slice in and nibble gently, my tongue sliding over her fingers.   
She shudders slightly as she offers me more.   
As i take it, she hasn't eaten the first bite.   
On the road, food is scarce, so when we eat, i let her have the larger amount. Having been on the battlefeild, I've done without food, so i never deny her.  
She's told me about how her family suffered during the seige 8 years ago...and curse myself. She and her family nearly starved. I was busy conquering   
the world while this sweet woman almost perished before i could see her.

And all i can think...is how poorer my life would be without her.

It's odd, everyone watching this intimate play between us, but all who witness it? Nod and smile their approval.  
She finishes feeding me the first plate, and then...starts feeding me the second. She offers me some of the honey flavored sweetbread and i gently suck it   
from her fingers. I look in her eyes, an unspoken question.   
She merely smiles and whispers...  
" I know you go without when we're on the road, I hear your stomach growl as we sleep, all so you can take care of me. So I'm going to take care of you."   
She feeds me the rest of that plate as mother brings a 3rd. She looks at it in surprise as my mother ruffles her hair and kisses her forehead. Her stomach   
announces it's need and she smiles, that sweet girlish grin i so love. I sit back to watch her eat.

And all i can think...is how generous and sweet she is.  
___________________  
We've been running through the forest, Zeus snd Athena are trying to kill my unborn child. Hercules is here, but so is my little bard.   
She jumps into the fray to defend me. She's always told me how beautiful I am in battle? She's never given herself true credit...for anything.   
She defends me, the destroyer of nations, and my unborn child, like....a father defends his family.

And all i can think... is how strong, how capable she truly is.

It's time, the baby is coming, Hercules comes over, i can see it, he hopes he can offer the support i need. All i need? All i have ever needed?   
Is my sweet bard, and she gives to me. Soft words, gentle guidance, and confident instruction.

As we hold her after she is born, i watch her play with Evie. My bard, she is like a sweet child at this point, calling the baby sweet, nonsensicle pet names.  
She holds her close, kissing her softly as she bathes her. I watch her play with my daughter....OUR daughter.

And all i can think...is my soulmate, my child, my family.

End


End file.
